April 23, 2019
I’ve been trying to think of something I wanted to write on here for the past little while & for some reason I just couldn’t put what I was feeling in my heart into words. But right now, I’m sitting at my desk listening to some good ol’ John Mayer and I feel like I finally know what I need to say.
Recently I seem to have been stuck in what a lot of people have defined as a ‘season of waiting’. Every time I hear that phrase it makes me a little frustrated. Because when I picture waiting, I think of standing in a really long line at an amusement park in the heat of Summer. Which, to me, is kind of miserable. There’s nothing to do besides stand & wait, it’s way too hot outside & you’re just wishing for some shade. All you want is to make it to the end of that line & feel the rush of the roller coaster.
But whoever said that waiting had to be so helpless? Just because you’re ‘waiting’ for something doesn’t mean you have nothing to do or enjoy in the process. You might not be exactly where you want to be at this moment, but that doesn’t mean you have to be discontent with what you do have. I know it’s hard. I know you’re disappointed and your heart is breaking & you wonder if the hurt will ever go away. You’re exhausted & at the end of each day you think ‘I just can’t do this anymore‘. It can be so difficult to feel like no matter how fast you run, you just keep hitting a wall that stops you from getting where you’re trying to go. But here you are. You continue to get up again & again and you never quit. That’s what counts.
Hearing people say over and over that you just need to be ‘happy where you are’ is disheartening at times. You think ‘I am trying. I want so badly to be happy’. You look around and see everybody else succeeding & a lot of them have what you want. Jealousy catches up with you & you wonder how they got what you’ve been praying & wishing for all this time. What are you doing so wrong??
You are doing everything right.
The Lord’s plan for your life isn’t always what you planned. Sometimes you don’t get exactly what you want, when you want it. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but trust me when I say there is so much more waiting for you than you ever could’ve imagined. When you look back at this time in your life you will see that the wait was for your good. So don’t waste the waiting. There is so much to celebrate at this moment!
Everyday I fall more & more in love with my ordinary life. I’m not where I thought I would be right now, and I’m still in this ‘season of waiting’ but I’ve decided that I will not stand still anymore. Just because I’m learning patience, that doesn’t mean I can’t find joy in the life I’m currently living. Yes, some days are harder than others & my life is far from perfect, but I’m not afraid of the wait anymore. I’m choosing to thrive in God’s love, trusting that He’s got me & my life in His hands.
One day after I felt especially frustrated and upset that things didn’t seem to be working out I came across Joshua 1:9
God is always with me & He’s always with you. So what do we have to fear? He already has everything worked out, even the smallest details of our lives.
Maybe it’s in this time of your life that you find who you were always meant to be. You don’t have to stand still in the seeming never-ending line of waiting. God is working in your life even if you can’t see it right now. Embrace your life for what it is and don’t let this opportunity of learning & growing pass you by. There is always something more. Even in the waiting.
And one day, when you finally board that roller coaster, it’s going to be the greatest ride of your life.